Skip to main content

Body Talk









shirt-Wildfang(similar here), leggings-Old Navy, sneakers-Converse, sunnies-Target(similar here)


I'm want to talk about my body. It's been through A LOT in the past few years, what we having two children and the biological and weight fluctuations that go along with all of that. I'm amazed at what my body has accomplished, but at the same time I'm also disgusted by the state it's in. I'm not in great shape, both physically, and in terms of my sense of self. I know there is no return to how things used to be, pre-babies, but I haven't found the new version of myself that feels right. I want to be body positive and love myself, but the current state of this body does not match with how I perceive myself. I know, it all sounds very vague and existential, but this heady stuff is wrapped up in a physical form that feels disconnected. This disconnection is front and center with this OOTD. A androgynous-style shirt paired with maternity leggings and unisex sneakers. It's a head-scratcher folks...

Unfortunately, a big part of my sense of self is tied to self-expression through style and presentation. Right now, what with breast-feeding, this never-ending summer weather, and trying to lose baby weight, my options for self presentation are limited and feeling flat. The joke there is that my boobs are HUGE right now, which is not helping the situation. 

Here is what I need from clothing right now: 
1. Access to pump and/or nurse my child
2. Comfort, nothing too tight or fitted and slip-on shoes on weekdays as daycare has a shoes-off policy for the infant room. 
3. Work Appropriate, so easy-going loungewear is not an option.
4. Clean, to varying degrees
5. Pockets
6. Stylish and Flattering, i.e. something I feel good in, that I'm not self-conscious wearing. 

It's a longish list and I'm not hitting each point everyday, or even most days. And also, I kind of hate my hair. I think bangs were a mistake. 

Yeah, my self esteem is pretty low right now. As I transition back to work, a fitness routine, a writing routine, I know things will improve, it just takes time. If only I could get away with sweatpants, t-shirts, and flip-flops everyday. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

40 Year Old Cottagecore

  dress-Anthropologie(more options here ), sunnies- DIFF Eyewear , necklace- Benevolence LA , bag-- Shiraleah , sandals- Born I first became aware of Cottagecore earlier this summer and found it to be an aesthetic I can appreciate and find aspirational , but was not necessarily a style that aligned with my wheelhouse. Well as I've been growing my hair during covid quarantine and having picked up this dress as seen here , I felt that I was ready to tackle #cottagecore here on my 40th birthday!!! Yep, that's right today I turn 40 (but I don't look it). And while it's been a year like no other, I feel excited for my next year, decade, chapter of my life. I think it's fair to say I'm done having babies and ready to move on from the chaos of very little children to the chaos of big kids.  I no longer feel like I have something to proof in my work, writing, sense of self. I'm just going to enjoy and be grateful for the many blessings of family, friends, health, a...

Two Things

First: Isabel Marant's collocation for H&M debuts today in select stores AND online at noon, so you may want to get up on that.  Here are a few looks I'm lusting after. Hello mixed patterns!   Love the oversized coat and the detail on these jeans.   Patterned blazer, cropped colorful trousers, yes please!   Of course, I cannot partake in this collection with my Year Of No Shopping, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. So get ready to go by noon because I'm sure this noise will sell out fast.   Number Two: I'm thinking about a new haircut.  Something along the lines of Tilda Swinton .     What do we think? I'm not going to go blond, but I like the shorter/buzzed sides and back with length on the top. Mr. Keller is hesitant, he thinks it's too masculine, but I'm kind of in the mood to go a bit edgy and I've had the same cut now for two-ish years...  FYI: Tilda Swinton is my spirit animal!   ...

Rent the Runway Wedding Vote

I may be on vacation at the moment, but I'm thinking of the future, in particular the wedding I'm attending back home next month. A ton of high school friends will be there. Some I am dying to hang out with, while others I'm hoping to make a bit jelly... Regardless, an outfit is required. I mentioned the idea of wearing a summer suit in this post . But now I'm feeling more of killer-blow-them-away dress.   I'm also thinking I may have to call in the big guns and utilize the services of Rent the Runway .  1.   Elie Tahari   Love the pattern here. The user reviews & pics lead me to believe this will be quite flattering on my body type.     2.   Kate Spade   This is so groovy and I love the use of a statement necklace in this look. But, I'm wondering if I'm not attracted to the overall styling of the picture for the website or if I really like the dress on its on.     3.  Milly ...